Starting Over

Well I seem to only get on here yearly anymore. LOL

Let's see around November we lost the house we were renting in Port Charlotte and had to move in with my parents. Not a bad thing really I enjoy being closer to my family. We had thanksgiving here it was great not bad I don't think.

Christmas soon followed. They days leading up to Christmas was touch and go on my marriage. Some days it was good others not so good. I had one day where they hubby said he as done and quit being a father and said he was leaivng.. The look on my kids face was the worst I'd ever seen. :( A few hours later he returned he apologized but they kids were still not quite right.

A few weeks had passed and he started to get bad again was accusing me of being selfish right in front of our son who of course defended me saying I always think of them and not myself. Well I had told him if I was selfish then I would've left him a long time ago but I was thinking of the kids and stayed trying to make it work. He had left for work in a way that left me wondering if he was gonna come home. Well he did and then things were still a little rocky. In fact right before Christmas he asked me if we were okay and I told him I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

We made it past Christmas not with our usually rosy selves but we made it past none the less. The new year came in and out things still rocky between us. There were days I wanted nothing to do with him and I would've been just fine if it could've been that way.

well by the end of January things were worse. He had a few more spats with the kids and on the final one with our oldest I said to myself that was it. After months of praying to God for answers it was clear to me that I kept getting the same answers from God. I kept hearing you need to have him leave and start over. You need to give your kids a more positive atomosphere and so came the conversation with my hubby that would change my life forever.

I sat down with him and told him that I made a decision on the choice he gave me the night before. I told him I chose him leaving. I told him how the kids and I seem happier when he's not around and that I was tired of his barking at them and making them and me feel like worthless pieces of crap. So he after trying to make me feel guilty he came in and dropped the bomb on my kids and my parents telling them all that it was over and that he wasn't wanted anymore. I was pissed I felt we should've talked it over with the kids just the 5 of us. Oh well the damage was done. So after being told that i was right and it was a family matter not for everyone but just the 5 of us he left for work.

The next day I get a call from my mother in law asking me what was going on. She asked if I was done and said she understood. I said good cause I'm only thinking of the kids with this and how they NEED a more positive then negative upbringing.

It's been a rocky 4 months but I feel it's the right choice for my kids and me. The paperwork is in motion just waiting for the final draft to be mailed to hubby and signed and we're off to the almost finish line.